fernando gaitán de narvaez, the most wonderful man i've ever known

i didn't really know where to say this, so this is what i've chosen.

i figure not many people read this lil blog (i probably wouldn't either), and i know that no one relevant is ever going to read it, but here goes nothing.

my grandfather is dying.  like, really... he probably won't be around in a couple of weeks.  and honestly, i'm not quite sure what to think about that.  

he is 93 years old and the most amazing man i have ever met.  ever.  ever in my whole life.

he spent his 93 years doing two things and two things only: 

1. working hard 
2. loving hard

he worked his entire life to provide for the family whom he loves so much; and he really, legitimately loves us, like, really... a lot a lot.

his health has been declining for the past eight years or so, but even through a stroke, memory loss, losing the ability to see and hear well, among other heartbreaking things his spirit and good natured personality has shown through.  not a day goes by that he doesn't ask my mom how my sister and i are doing, that he doesn't inquire about his kids and grandkids - we are his life.

and he is ours.  he has held my family together through tough times, and for that i will be forever grateful.

he was kinda like my second dad - he taught me how to wipe when i got potty trained (you FOLD, never crumple your toilet paper), tried to teach me latin dance, taught me all the countries and capitals in south america (i don't even know the US states and capitals), he encouraged me to always speak in spanish so as to not lose my fluency ("español por quien suspira!"), he fostered my entrepreneurial spirit (when i made/sold lemonade, fashionable garments out of trash bags, etc he's one of the only people who bought them), he lent me his galoshes whenever i was at his house and it snowed, he took me to the pool and tried and tried to get me to swim laps instead of play, instilled his love of bread (oh, carbohydrates) in me, and he never wavered his support of all of my endeavors: ballet, soccer, piano, clarinet, basketball, softball, cheerleading, a cappella, you name it.

if it hadn't been for him, i wouldn't know too much about my heritage, and i certainly wouldn't be the proud hispanic-american woman i am today.  he emanates pride for his roots and his family, and inspired me to do the same.

never in my life have i ever met anyone so meek and humble, loving and compassionate.  i've never come across anyone, ever, who is genuinely nice.  i don't think there's one mean bone, muscle, fiber, or even chromosome, or fraction of a chromosome in his body.

now that i know he's leaving soon, there are so many things i want to tell him and an infinite number of questions i'd love the answers to.  i don't feel like i can tell him though, or ask those questions.  i don't want to trouble him, and i know for a fact that if i so much as open my mouth to say anything but "hola" "como estas" "te quiero mucho" or "te veo pronto" i'll burst into a mess of tears, much like i'm about to do.

so.  i'm going to stop.  i'm hoping to post pictures and more later, but for now, i think that's about all i had to say.